Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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