if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was confusing and full of hummus
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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