We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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