I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
