nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
