For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
