i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
