My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
