I just saw a hot homeless man
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
