yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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