: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
