Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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