Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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