THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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