Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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