So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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