Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
