In the future we'll all be gay
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
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