that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
