Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
