How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
