After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
