He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
