I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
me + whiskey = a bad person
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
