thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
