Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
