he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
