If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize