You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
