we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
