we're blogging at a bar
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
