she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
