If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
