ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
