Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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