She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Even my vagina gasped.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
