the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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