Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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