This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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