Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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