whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
