New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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