I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
