Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
