Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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