i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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