some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm passing your future prison.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize