There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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