Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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