you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
