There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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