We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
