She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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