You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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