I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
