we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
