Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
