You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
